Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Getting older...it's not all booze and crying!

As another birthday looms in my not so distant future (okay, it's today), I decided to put my Pollyanna hat on and make a list of some good things about getting old. If you get the Pollyanna reference, this list is for you, too.

Before I was 55 and a cashier would ask if I was eligible for a senior discount, I would immediately go home, make a cashier doll, and stick pins in it. Now, when asked, I simply reply "Hell yeah, how much do I save?!"

I haven't had a zit since 1998.

Now when old men flirt with me, it's only slightly creepy.

I always wished for curves. Hmm, I should have been more specific where I wanted them.

I don't mind admitting I have three cats. But, their photo is not the wallpaper on my phone (yet).

I'm now comfortable bringing reading glasses to restaurants. It's a lot less embarrassing than asking for "the fourth thing down, make it medium rare", only to find out it's a chicken entree. Which leads me to the next one...

I am getting used to quizzical looks.

Medical personnel have stopped asking if there is a chance I could be pregnant.

I no longer have a need for belts.

I'm less likely to get patted down at the airport. It still happens, but not as often. I'm not so old I enjoy the personal contact.

Taking a nap is completely acceptable.

I am not a slave to fashion trends. I now have something called "my style" which includes sweatshirts with shoulder pads, baby bunny heels (lower than kitten heels) and lots of vertical stripes.

When a driver honks at me, I simply mouth the words "That's right, I'm old, now #%?@ off!"

And the best thing about getting old?

It's okay if I can't remember the name of that actor who was in that movie with that other actor, you know, the one married to that blond. I remember the exact time my kids were born, what they weighed, their first words, and what they wore on their first day of school. I remember every detail of when I met my husband, though I couldn't tell you what I had for lunch yesterday. I remember the exact words my mother said to me before she passed away (she called me by my sister's name, just like she had a thousand times before) but I have to set new passwords every day. You discover that what you thought was important, isn't important at all.


Liz@ Infuse With Liz said...

Well Happy Birthday!! I've missed your posts! This was entertaining and I got a big smile from it so thank you for that! My girlfriends and I had lunch recently and our conversation went on similarly to your thoughts about naming that actor who was married to so and so and did that other movie etc... and we all laughed at ourselves because we were all blank! You are right though- so much of what we think is important isn't! That's sweet about your mom...I'm the baby of 4 and when I return home I'm often called one of their names- I just take it in stride :-) I hope your day is great!

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Candace Celebre said...

Damn! I can't wait to turn 55 and I'm only 29. Hilarious post and so well written.

Candace Celebre said...
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Candace Celebre said...
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