Monday, February 15, 2010

Grilled Chicken...Hold The Cleavage!

They say that the number one issue couples fight about is money. Yes, I can imagine that’s true in most relationships. Not mine. What do we fight about? Where we’re going to eat. Here is a typical dialog:

Him: Should we go get something to eat?

Me: Sure!

Him: Where would you like to go?

Me: I don’t care.

We have had this exact conversation so many times, we could just hold up flash cards.

Him: Pick a place…I don’t want to drive around.

Me: I’ll eat anywhere.

This is where he pulls out his trump card.

Him: Fine, then we’ll go to Hooters.

I play along. I know he’s bluffing.

Me: I don’t want to go to Hooters!

Him: You said you didn’t care where we eat, so we’re going to Hooters.

Me: They don’t even have good food.

Him: I know.

Me: Okay, how about Chinese?

Him: I had Chinese for lunch yesterday.

Me: See! I made a suggestion and you shot it down.

I’m in full sulk-mode now.

Him: Make another one.

Me: No, I don’t want to.

He tries another tactic.

Him: Fine, we’ll stay home and I’ll make myself a bologna sandwich.

Ha! This is really feeble. We don’t even eat bologna.

Me: Okay, I’ll come up with three places and you can choose one of them. The first one is….

Him: Wait, I know where we should go!

Me: (silence)

A therapist would probably say that we aren’t really fighting about where to eat just as money fights are not about money. I don’t really care. We have been doing this dance for years…and I’m sure if I mentioned finding something else to fight about, his first words would be “Fine, pick something.”

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